What happens to turn a relationship so full of love and excitement into something full of pain and confusion?
Well, many people with BPD fear abandonment above almost anything else. Yet, at the same time, they don’t believe they’re worthy of getting what they really want. They can hardly imagine that another person truly does love them. So, when their partners inevitably fail to fulfill their every need, they believe the next step is abandonment.
This conclusion fuels BPD rage, and, as a result, they push their partners away. Better to push someone away than to be pushed away, right?
This series of reactions is extremely self-defeating, but it’s born out of fear, not malice.