Let’s start as we did with anxiety, by its definition:
Doesn’t sound nice, huh? Yeah well, the thing is that I got someone in my life that fits in this category. Thankfully enough, I could spot that person, and I am trying my very best to get rid of the scars that person left in my heart and my head. Truth is… that I didn’t spot that person on my own.
It was a tough journey…
Just imagine this situation:
You live all your life around that person. They are there in the right moments and creating bad ones just so you run towards them because they need to feel loved or useful. They need to feel like you need them.
Can you knee before th King and say “I’m clean”?
Apparently, they can.
IT IS THE FLAWLESS PLAN
They create dangerous situations without you seeing that, so then you have to ask for their opinion and their help and so their ego increase.
How… do you spot a person like that? With help, but not from that person, right? They will never admit what they are doing to you.
THE PERFECT VICTIMS
You can do whatever you want. Try for the best, not try at all. It will always turn out to be your fault.
Study or go out. It will never be what they want. “Still in that room?” “Always on the street.” “You never help me, I have to always do it on my own.” “You are so ungrateful.”
Then you break down, start crying. But then, as if nothing happened, they will hug you, tell you how much they love you and how much they understand your behavior or how upset you might be for whatever thing that happened at school or work, but never because of what they said or did.
This one is a bit tough to explain and assess.
They will tell you a lot of things out of love. They will make you feel loved like you are the best thing that has ever happened to them. Like you are special.
Like you are just perfect. Nothing that you can do or say can ever hurt them. You are raised to be the ideal human being. No flaws. The perfect slave…
Make one step in the opposite direction of what they expect… and the storm will fall on you.
To move on from that person.
Now that step one is accomplished (which was spotting that person), I need to move on away from them.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, I am moving out of my country, so I think that is a massive step in the correct direction.
“You desired my attention, but denied my affection.”
Next step: HEALING
That is going to take a LONG time. But again, I am not giving up on it.
I am going to leave a series of books below that I have purchased and read. I think that they are very helful in this journey of healing from narcissistic people.
Personally, the first one is my favorite. But you are invited to read them all.
Post made possible thanks to Montse M.