My First Goal

To forgive myself.

 

That is not going to be an easy task. But I said I was going to do it, and I will. I need to move on to be happy. And so… I will do it no matter what it takes.

I cannot change the past, but the future is in my hands.

 

Never to step on the same rock twice.

 

I failed my best friend once, and I do not intend to do the same thing again.

Fear made me back up. Made me turn away and run. Leaving that person on its own.

LOYALTY. Now I know what it means. Maybe I didn’t back then, but I certainly do understand what it means now.

So I promise with all my heart that I will be loyal to you until the very end. Come what may, I will be by your side.

For better or worse.

 

No more trust issues. 

 

You can’t be happy if you are always afraid of what they will say or do when you are not looking.

Life as a teenager sucks. Not just for me, but for everyone…

Either you become a bitch, or the bitches fuck you up.

Well, I guess I was in the second group, and I developed trust issues.

But now it is time to open my heart and trust those who surround me. And if they fail me? Well, at least I should give them the first chance, right?

 

No to third chances.

 

I am who says that I will give strangers a first chance to get to know me. A second chance because everyone makes a mistake (I am the first one, as I already mentioned before). But giving a third chance… well. I go back to the previous point. Never stepping on the same rock twice. 

So I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but I am not going back to you. You had your chances. A lot of them, actually. But I was so afraid of being lonely… I was stupid.

You both were playing with me all this time, weren’t you?

Well, I finally closed that door. Farewell.

My life is about to begin without you. 

 
Post made possible thanks to Montse M. 

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